It's the week before mid-August, the phone isn't ringing and the mind is more relaxed, free to think about things other than the daily grind of real estate agent work...
It has been a couple of months since I came up with the idea for this article, but I have always put it off, devoting myself to more important things to do and communicate.
Usually, I try to write articles aimed at the consumer audience, at people who come to a real estate agent for assistance with home-related issues. Today, however, I want to speak instead to my colleagues and all those in their jobs who are going through a difficult time.
Today I am going to talk about real estate agent depression.
There are times in the working career of all real estate agents when it seems that this job is not for you. A combination of factors determine this emotional state: you haven't sold a house in quite some time, you don't have any ongoing negotiations or new property acquisitions in sight, the phone rings little, you think about negotiations that have foundered because of your own carelessness or mistakes...you feel the weight of adversity coming your way.
In my opinion, the last few years have made this condition worse. The advent of social media, across the board, has enabled the connection of people, allowing everyone to be able to enter the daily lives of their friends and acquaintances. Even real estate agents, like most other users of these platforms, use these media to flaunt their successes and the positive things that happen
Miracle sales, multi proposals for properties to sell, assignments a go go, photos with happy clients at the notary etc etc. This, of course, emphasizes that sense of inadequacy and pressure on the activity of the "viewer." Generally when I see this kind of content I start asking the wrong questions, which inexorably lead to the answers I don't need:
- Why don't I take assignments? Because I am not capable
- Why don't I sell houses? Because I'm not good at it
- Why don't people call me? Because I am not a good real estate agent.
All this triggers a self-destructive spiral that leads lower and lower and drags you down in your work life, preventing you from giving direction to your work.
If you ask any sailor or person who drives boats in rivers they will tell you that the key thing to know when driving a power boat in a river with a strong current is to turn the bow AGAINST the current and not the motor. If you put the boat going along with the current of a river, you may have the most powerful motor of all but the current will determine your direction.
I admit, I have often found myself in this situation myself. You wake up in the morning on autopilot and go to the office, waiting for customer calls, you arrange yourself according to what the demands are and not according to what you need...
Here are some behaviors I enact when I find myself in this emotional state.
1) UNPLUG AND PLAN
When you are in autopilot mode, it is difficult to have the lucidity to change direction. You must find the courage to stop, turn off the engine, consult the map, and turn it back on only after you have identified the new direction to take. Take a day off work (don't take time off from your family) and leave out everything that can bother you: mails, phone calls, requests, text messages etc etc.
Take a blank sheet of paper and write down what your priorities are for your work and think about the concrete activities you need to do to achieve those goals. Write on your agenda the day and time when you will do those activities. Make a commitment to yourself and take action!
2) WATCHWORD: DO!!!
To get out of an impasse, the only strategy is to roll up your sleeves and get busy. Make an extra call, talk to more clients, call up past clients and hear if they need anything, update your database, write down your feelings or thoughts on a piece of paper (or on a blog) in a way that concretizes them and imprisons them in a text by getting them out of your head... over the years I have learned that action always leads to a result, static and passivity on the other hand leads to nothing.
3) LEARN TO SAY NO
I know this one is difficult. I often find myself being a "yes man" myself, and the little voice in my head is always that:
If you refuse to meet this requirement, the client will not contact you in the future when they need to sell their house!
It is a risk that must be taken; too often, out of kindness or a spirit of altruism we acquiesce to client requests that we already know are fruitless and lead to deleterious waste of time for our work (e.g., the 100 k house put up for sale at 300). Knowing how to identify these requests and having the strength to say " NO, sorry I can't help you" is an exercise in strong responsibility and willpower. But I can assure you that it will give you the right push for what is really important to you and makes you feel good.
4) SURROUND YOURSELF WITH SINCERE COLLEAGUES AND UNPLUG SOCIAL MEDIA
I have never understood why real estate agents friend each other on social media. I get requests from colleagues in distant regions with whom I have never had contact. Before accepting a friend request, check the profile of the person who sent you the invitation:
- Do you only publish posts from when you make sales and assignments?
- Does he brag about how many sales he makes in a month and how much better he is than others?
- Do you post Steve Jobs quotes and hymns to hard work always and everywhere?
- Do you only have photos of your agency or brand in your profile?
It is likely that you are coming into contact with a "workaholic" aka workaholic, and I would like you to ask yourself this question:
Will getting in touch with this person and being updated on his activity make me feel better or worse? Will it be helpful for me?
If the answer is NO, then it's time to use point 2 I wrote above (even small NOs help) Trust me, you don't have to accept just to increase your circle of friends to be more "popular" you don't become an influencer that way.
Surround yourself (even online) with people who add value to those who read them, who are an incentive to do better and not just more. Often doing "better" goes hand in hand with doing "less."
The reality we see on social media is a very small (and often untrue) cross-section of our work. Our work is made up of ups and downs and is different for each territory where we operate.
There are about 45,000 real estate agents in Italy, a few hundred (maybe less) are Top- producer-mega-facturopath-millionaire-mental-coach. We can't all be.
I wrote this article as therapy for myself, to remind myself what the facts are and not to be carried away by the current. I am sure that in the future I will need to reread it more than once to clear my mind and continue my journey.
I want to close with a final consideration for you who took 5 minutes of your free time to read this article.
As long as you do your job with passion, protecting the clients who come to you, qualifying our role in society, and earning what you need for a decent existence for you and your family--you will be doing a great job.
Remember: You are a good real estate agent!
P.S: if you feel down and you are alone, leave me a comment or write to me, I will be happy to hear your story 😉
